One of my biggest challenges.....

ANXIETY

Just looking at that word...brings it on. I have been suffering from anxiety pretty much all my life. It really started affecting my life at about age 13. I have a chemical imbalance causing me to have GAD-generalized anxiety disorder, also OCD-obsessive compulsive disorder......super fun let me tell you...NOT! The symptoms of my disorders began with constant stomach aches and feeling nauseous. Went to the doctors several times only to be told that I probably just had a virus.....then I began having other symptoms..... headaches, dizziness, feeling like I was going to pass out. I was convinced there was something wrong and the doctors were missing it. I just knew I had a brain tumor....nobody believed me. I was so convinced I was going to die one night, I even told my mother goodbye. Needless to say I went to the hospital that night by ambulance. I was hospitilized for about a week and had just about every test done possible....nothing found! I was healthy as a horse...is that the saying? At the end of the week my doctor came in and talked to my mom and I and gave me my diagnosis (see above word in bold print)...and told me I would have it for the rest of my life but with the right medications it can be treated. On the way home I wondered how on earth could anxiety make me feel this horrible and make me feel like I was going to die. I got home and began doing my own research on anxiety....its amazing what the "mind" can do to you. I am my own worst enemy. Anyway...after finding the right "cocktail" and going to a counselor for awhile...I learned how to get a grasp on the anxiety for the most part. Sometimes its way to much to just ignore though....it still takes over sometimes. I still catch myself looking up symptoms online if I start feeling bad....I like to diagnose myself...I believe sometimes I have a terminal disease like cancer, heart problems...you name it I got it according to my mind and the internet. I have been having really bad hip pains for awhile....hmmm wonder what it could be?? My mind is racing....ugh! Screw you anxiety I hate you....leave me alone!